Writing is hard.
I mean, you would think it would be easy to take the words and thoughts floating around your brain and convert them into coherent sentences. Except, I’ve found it’s not that easy. Some days, it’s the most difficult thing in the world. It’s not that I don’t know the stories that my brain wants to tell, but I struggle with the translation from thought to paper (or computer as the case is normally).
Part of why it’s hard for me is that there’s a very distinct lack of feedback, especially in the initial phases. All you have is yourself to say if something is good, or if it’s bad, and we then have to find the courage to push on – even when you want to quit. The negativity that your brain creates can be crippling, and you just want to torch and burn the idea. Pretend that it never existed and go back to living a far more mundane life.
I need to find that courage again. It’s been hard. I don’t know why, but the doubt has crept back in, when I know that I am doing what I want when I am writing, when I am creating these stories. I also know that I am the only person who can talk me out of something. (I let my brain talk me out of going to a writing convention that was literally less than ten minutes from my house. Because, in my brain, what was the point?)
I need to stop letting the negativity win. I need to remember that doing the hard things can be the most fulfilling. I write for me, first and foremost.